No One Else I'd Rather Be With...

I remember reading a statistic after Thomas was diagnosed with hearing loss in his right ear and again after the news that he would continue to lose his hearing in both ears. I was absolutely shocked to read that 50 percent of all marriages end up in divorce within a year of diagnosis of a special needs child. With each ABR, sedated ABR, MRI, genetic test and booth test, I remember the tears that we cried, the breakdowns, the silent moments, the quiet research done during the early morning hours on the computer...this was a time that I then began to understand how marriages could be and would be tested. You feel so vulnerable, helpless and out of control. It completely and utterly sucks. I have no other words for this time in our lives, it simply sucked.

So, it brings me to today...my husband and I are more than two years post detection, diagnosis, more testing, further diagnosis and understanding. While our marriage is far from perfect, it is solid and growing stronger. Unlike many wives that most likely remember their husbands on their wedding day, following the birth of their child, the night of one romantic evening...I remember the look on my husband's face while we were waiting in the cafeteria during Thomas' CI surgery. I looked into his eyes and said, "There is no one else that I would rather go through this with...thanks and I love you." He took my hand and said the same thing back to me. It was one of the most important times in my life.

My husband, Sean, is an amazing man. Of course, he is the father of my children, but he is much more than that. He is my rock here on Earth, he is my best friend, he is the one in our family that makes everyone laugh, he makes Thomas verbalize when Thomas refuses to say anything to me...without Sean I would not be where I am today and our kids would not have the benefit of his constant love, his sense of humor or his sometimes twisted view of life. He makes me want to be a better wife, mother, therapist and person...he keeps our house humming (many times to the tunes of bands that I don't know).

I don't want my marriage to end in divorce...I want this crazy, twisted, amazing, wonderful, loving man and father in my life forever. He is an amazing role model for Thomas and Sidney...I don't want to be a statistic...I want to buck the trend...I want Sean to stand beside me when Thomas says his first sentence...I want Sean to be with me when we take Thomas to kindergarten...I want Sean with me when Thomas graduates from high school and later graduates from college...I want Sean with me when our kids get married...I want Sean with me when Thomas welcomes his own child into this world.

So times have been tough in the past couple years, that fact is unmistakable. However, I can tell you today, there is no one else that I'd rather be with...