JTC Summary - Parents as Teachers

We had a amazing experience at the John Tracy Clinic 2011 International Summer Session. I can finally write about our time there without crying (well, I may cry a little)...tears of joy, laughter, loneliness, exhaustion and sadness. The entire trip was a roller coaster of highs and lows, illness, not so small tantrums (one of which was mine) and tons of true friendships grown in a short period of time. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Before I write additional blog posts about what I learned through instruction, observation and labs, I want to share the lessons that I learned from the other families that attended the session. These parents inspired and supported me. While I learned a huge amount of data-driven information from the instructors at JTC, I learned emotionally and practically from those people with whom I lived, laughed, shared and cried.

So, here are some of the lessons that I learned from parents that have changed my life and our future. I've included the names of my "parent instructors" on each of the lessons:

1. Some times you gotta change paths -- Oscar and Lucia.
After years of being an auditory family, they are changing to a TC approach to help their son gain expressive language. Since adding sign to spoken language, their son has become more confident and expressive...kudos to them for making modifications to best help their son grow not just in language but in self-esteem. If the time comes that we need to make this decision for Thomas, I will look to them for inspiration and guidance.

2. Like cyclists, it is easiest to travel in a group -- Marc.
As parents of special needs kiddos, we need people to draft behind during difficult parts of the journey. One person will lead and then when they grow weary, someone else must take the lead...much like the peloton during the Tour de France. We were one big peloton while we were at JTC...I hope that this continues via email, Facebook and long phone calls.

3. Your circle of family and friends are either helpful or hurtful -- Elodie, Oscar & Angela.
I will say it and you may not agree but, being the parent of a special needs child IS much more difficult than raising a "typical" child. It is important for us to surround ourselves with friends and family members that are helpful and not harmful. If those around you don't lift you up the majority of the time, then it is okay to distance yourself from them.

4. All of our children are important -- Tammy.
So, raising a special needs kiddo is much more difficult and takes more energy than raising a "typical" child...now add on the layer of siblings and their "typical" needs. We have to take the time to give all of our children special attention not just our deaf/HoH kiddos. Tammy is doing an awesome job of helping all her kids grow into awesome adults. She makes me want to be a better mom.

5. Strangers are kind and generous -- Colin, Cleo & Gaelle.
Coming all the way from France to join this session with five children was a huge sacrifice. Taking in some of the sibling friends to make crepes was such a wonderful act of kindness. With all the beach fun we had on the weekends and time with friends at the sibling camp and in the TV lounge, this was one of the high points of Sidney's trip. I need to be a kinder stranger...who knows maybe I can create a strong and positive memory for a stranger's child.

6. Real men can and should cry -- all the dads.
On the last day of the session, all the parents went into a single room to say what they got out of the three weeks. Several of the men showed their softer side and shed tears for their children, for the families around them, and for the future that would begin once they returned home. I was so impressed with these gentlemen and they forever left a spot on my heart.

7. We have to fight for what we believe is right for our kids -- Brooke.
We know our kids and "professional opinions" are just that, opinions. Trust your gut, keep asking questions, get second opinions, move if needed to obtain the right services for your child...fight, fight, fight.

8. Keep your sense of humor -- Craig.
A Facebook group was started by JTC for our families to keep in touch. During the last week, Sean joined the kids and me for what was suppose to be a week for all of us. Sean promptly got the flu-like virus that I caught the first week that I was there (this was an incredibly ferocious bug). He was in the throws of it and Thomas came down with a slight fever...so tensions were high and we were feeling the effects of being away from home. Craig then started posting these very funny messages on our Facebook group page that kept my spirits lifted. So, I know now that we gotta keep laughing even when things get really hard.

9. If someone doesn't have a smile, give them yours -- Terri.
This woman has an infectious smile. I didn't realize it early enough to tell her how much it meant to me to see her smile during the low times of the trip. I want to be more like Terri smiling more and giving those smiles to others.

10. It is okay to take time for yourself -- Marc, Florence and Dushyant.
Marc told me that it was okay to reduce the number of books that I read to Thomas every single day...he touched me because he said that it was okay to relax and take some time during the day for me. Marc, I really needed to hear this message. Florence and Dushyant maximized their time in LA and went out on dates while they were there. They are a couple that is truly connected to each other. I admire this and want to bring more of this kind of spirit into my own marriage.

11. A true hug can squeeze your heart -- Elodie & Tammy.
These women know how to give a real, true, honest hug. When I was given the gift of one of their hugs, my heart actually hurt. It hurt because I know that they will physically be thousands of miles away from me...so, I give them a virtual hug right now and hope to hug them again in the not so distant future.

I wanted to write all about our trip in a single blog post but, quickly realized that I'd be writing for days and that anyone that read the blog post would be reading for hours. Next I plan to write about the instructors and teachers that truly changed our lives. I'd like to also recap how Sidney felt about the trip and the fun times that we had while we were in LA. Until then, feel me smiling and giving out true hugs to everyone!