Me and My Bike

Our preacher at Hillside is doing a series called "Faith that Works" a study about the book of James. During the series, he has drawn the metaphor of our faith as a bike that we ride along the path of life. We have the choice to turn the bike down the wrong path or the path that God is calling us to choose. During today's sermon, he stated that some of us are not even on the bike. That we got off the bike gradually or that we simply stopped and got off, and can tell those around us the exact date that we got off our bike.

I got off my bike the day that we got the results from Thomas' MRI. We received the enlarged vestibular aqueduct diagnosis from our ENT/surgeon and I saw before me a steep mountain that I didn't want to ride my bike up. It was a rocky path, not even a road or sidewalk in sight. So, I tossed my bike aside and started up the mountain because I didn't want the weight of my bike to slow me down...I could take the mountain on my own. I didn't need faith in God to get me up to the top.

This was the absolute darkest time in my life, without question. I was angry at everyone, especially God. I cried every single day for months on end. I was depressed and couldn't even talk to many people about what I was going through, let alone pray for help. I completely shut down and in doing so picked up many bad habits that ultimately became sins -- self-reliance, pride, selfishness, being closed-off emotionally, among many others. I simply focused on getting Thomas the technology, the services and home program needed. My bike at the bottom of the mountain was becoming old and rusty, with flat tires.

About a year into walking up the mountain in complete darkness, I realized that I couldn't do it alone. So, I sat down with our pastor and he "told me like it was." He didn't pussy-foot around, he gave me a reality check like no other. This was a big step for me because I found people of true faith to be intimidating, especially our pastor. I cried while he shot me straight and remember one specific thing that he asked, "Who are you to think that God won't use your own child to make you the person that He wants you to become?"

So, I went back down the mountain, serviced my bike and got back on it. Today, my bike still has training wheels because my faith isn't truly what it should be...I still have fits and spurts of spiritual energy...I sometimes coast along when I should be pedaling to take on the next uphill section of our journey...but sometimes, I pedal hard and feel God's wind at my back to help me along.

As Thomas' fourth birthday approaches, I'm wanting to buy him a big boy bike. Of course, he will need training wheels. Hopefully, I can give him the training wheels from my bike...then I will be totally relying on the Lord. I'll have to keep pedaling and not get back off. This is one of my prayers today...keep pedaling and taking the path that God wants, not getting off or slowing going backwards down the mountain.

Another prayer is for the thousands of people that recently received a hearing loss diagnosis or failed newborn hearing screening. May they not get off their bikes, may they turn to God for guidance and strength. May they not take the path that I did not so long ago.

My final prayer is for my children...may I help them learn about their bikes, teach them how to ride and let them pedal down the paths that God has chosen for them.

Amen.