Tears...

Tomorrow we leave for Mexico to celebrate the wedding of my husband's friend, Jesse. Jesse is an awesome guy...the first friend that my husband found as he began his undergraduate work on the huge campus of Texas A&M. Sean and Jesse are like two totally different peas in a pod...different, yet the same.

We are going sans kiddos to the wedding. I haven't been more than an hour away from the kids in a couple of years...this is kind of hard for me...and yet easy knowing that there is no turning back once we make it through security at the airport. So, I packed all their clothes, school stuff, technology, wrote out their entire schedule including school and teacher phone numbers, and packed books/toys/etc for the next few days. I'm anal so I packed lunches, coordinated clothing, wrote a detailed agenda, etc.

Thomas knows that we were leaving for a trip and that he will be staying with his grandparents. He knows that we will return on Sunday and we talked all about how Kiki, his grandmother, was going to get him to and from school. How he needs to eat well and sleep well. How he needs to be nice to his sister and helpful to his grandmother and grandfather. He was cool as a cucumber as he said good-bye to me tonight. He was excited. This was an adventure in his eyes...so cool, and he had the language to express his emotions.

The tears came when I said good-bye to my Sidney. I looked at her and she was completely fine, no tears and kind of excited in her own right. I then lost it. I started to cry, told her how much I was going to miss her; kissed her face, hands and hair. She started to cry, too. We hugged and kissed and hugged some more. Our tears melded as we held each other, becoming one. I so love her...sometimes I don't say it enough. This may be why it becomes so special when we do let our guards down and let our emotions flow. She is my "normal" child...the one I don't have to worry so much about...yet, I love her just as much as I love my "special needs" child...she gives me strength, tries my patience, and tests my limits but...damn! I love her so much.

As my friend, Tammy, helped me learn in LA...we have children that aren't hearing impaired/deaf...they need our love, too...I miss my Sidney girl already...tears...